My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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