its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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