Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
