I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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