I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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