oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
barbara walters just said penis...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize