that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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