Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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