i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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