Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize