Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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