the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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