This girl is more easily done than said...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
