ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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