Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
