I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
