walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
