I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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