i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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