i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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