I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
