Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
