I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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