I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
