My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize