I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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