I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
