I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
