dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just pee around me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
