Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize