Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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