Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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