singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
