I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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