brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
