i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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