The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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