Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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