i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he shaved USA in his pubs
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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