ugly people sure do ruin things
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.