I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything