we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.