when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
