you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Someone signed my nipple.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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