I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
