Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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