Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
