the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
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