so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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