what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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