I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
