I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
