OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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