dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
