u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
