If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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