Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize