it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
