what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I intend to get homeless drunk
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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