Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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